


Never Say Never

by justbygrace



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Promiscuity, vaguely nsfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-13 21:18:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10522053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justbygrace/pseuds/justbygrace
Summary: The important thing to remember is that this was never supposed to happen.





	

The important thing to remember is that this was never supposed to happen. He was above such a thing; it simply didn't happen to people of his status and reputation. After all, he was John Smith, aka "the Doctor," the most sexually prolific man in England, according to every gossip magazine three years running. He'd even beat out Jack Harkness, which was truly saying something, and was a little statistic John enjoyed holding over Jack's head when he needed a favor. John had also been voted Bachelor of the Year, Most Eligible Bachelor, and Most Unfaithful Boyfriend, three titles he was frankly quite proud of, thanks just the same. He wasn't an escort, per se, he was just really, really good at shagging people, especially rich ones who bought him drinks and gave him something to do with his nights (and sometimes days). 

The only person who could come anywhere close to his reputation was her and it was something that kept him up at night. She was Rose Tyler, heiress of Vitex Industries, and the only person more photographed in compromising positions last year than him. He had met her, of course — they'd shagged quite a few of the same people (including Jack, but that was just the one time on John's part and it was because of a lot of alcohol and certain other less legal substances and an entire week of bad decisions and, anyway, it wasn't a night he remembered fondly). John and Rose had been civil to one another, but it was obvious they were not a match made in heaven; they spent every moment together arguing, and really that just ruins the mood.

The first time he was invited to a threesome that included Rose Tyler he was...apprehensive. Not because of his own technique - he wasn't called the Doctor for nothing - just because it was, well it was, well, anyway, he just was. Just because he'd shagged nearly everyone of any prominence didn't mean he didn't get a bit...concerned before a new performance. These things happened. He was still human after all, despite his frankly impressive...well, everything. 

He was vaguely surprised to find himself inspired by Rose's ability. She had moves he hadn't seen before and that was definitely something to be admired. He didn't ever have trouble getting off (or getting anyone else off either), but Rose's mouth and lips and tongue and, yes, teeth were...well, anyway, he had to call upon resources he hadn't used in years to maintain control and not shoot off early like a fumbling teenager. Their mutual friend was a conquest, nothing more, nothing less, and afterwards none of them stuck around for long. 

John accidentally on purpose shared the lift with Rose on the way out and casually mentioned they'd worked well together. Because it was true, and because even a master (or mistress) craftsman needs to be complimented, and because it was a nice thing to say and John was a nice person at least fifty percent of the time, when he wasn't drunk or high or dumping someone. Rose was a little surprised, but agreed, suggesting that maybe they grab each other's numbers to keep in case they were in need of a third party or a casual shag or something. John admired the forethought and the number exchange was completed.

After that they ran into each other frequently: at parties, clubs, hotel suites, his or her bedroom. In retrospect, the rumor that they were dating probably shouldn't have surprised him as much as it did. They brushed it off for awhile because they weren't dating. Whatever they were (or weren't) was purely casual fun. They did, however, enjoy tormenting the press and so they got a great deal of amusement out of "accidentally" getting caught in impromptu scandalous photos. Eventually people got the idea that they were a pair, and it was rare that someone wanted to shag one and not the other. He wasn't complaining. After all, Rose was a fun and interesting partner in bed and the two did work very well together, if he did say so himself. 

About eighteen months after they first met, some enterprising young reporter published the rumor that John Smith was all set to propose to his "long-time girlfriend," Rose Tyler. For the record, John had been shopping for rings, but it was because he had accidentally flushed some rich old lady’s garnet set down the garbage disposal, not because he wanted to marry anyone. However, the press was like a dog with a bone with this idea, refusing to see reason and absolutely refusing to let go of the notion. 

John and Rose had a "should we or shouldn't we" chat over the morning paper and John's specially made banana hangover smoothies. After several yawns and more than a few paracetamol, they agreed that it wouldn't hurt and it could help and after all Rose did sort of sleep in his bed most nights and most everyone wanted them as a pair (John couldn't actually remember the last time he'd had a one-on-one with anyone who wasn't Rose, a fact he didn't feel led to share with the woman in question). 

The wedding itself consisted of some vows and a prenup signed in the local courthouse, but it was celebrated on the most populated strip in London on the busiest Saturday afternoon in the summer and they beat their personal record of most shags in one day. 

Life continued on as normal after that. Well, it did for awhile. At least two weeks. And then something happened. Something John had never seen coming. Rose was invited for a one-on-one. With Jack Harkness. He arrived home one morning — okay, mid afternoon — from a night of drinking and partying, intent on a little R&R with Rose, to an empty flat and a note about Jack and "don't expect me tonight" signed by Rose. 

He may have thrown his mobile across the room and shattered a mirror. He also may have stomped around the house for at least five minutes before storming out and hailing a cab with tersely given instructions for Jack's favorite hotel. And he also may have tried three successive hotels before going to Jack's house. But he never admitted to any of that.

Afterwards no one could really say what happened. Jack was photographed with a black eye and a wide grin and quoted as saying "just call me Cupid." Rose and John weren't seen for a week, and then it was just for a blurry photo of them boarding a jet bound for Europe. By the time they returned, they had lost their status as Most Eligible Couple in England, and surprisingly neither of them seemed to care.


End file.
